this week is not my week. i become very very temprament and sensitive, this week. i feel like want to angry, crying, and screaming evertime. and everyday i get hard to control my feeling.
i dont know what happen with me, but i think i already hurt much my friends with my condition
and, this day is the most temprament and sensitve day, i feel want to cry all time. and i very very get hard to control it. until my friends was know that i am going to cry #ups embarrassing
and when i go home, i think i can't keep show that im alright, althoug im not. i cry so much after pray. i dont know what happen with me, but i cry more and more. its very hard to stop tears fallen from my eyes.
and after that, i sleep and dreaming about my daddy, he make me feel more more better than before.
and this is conversation between us:
he said "my babby girl, please stop your babby crying, sweetie. you are not babby anymore, yo more strong than it. my girl is very very strong and keep her smile always on her lips. but you? very ugly with big eyes that always full with tear."
i still cry a lot, can't stop
"if you are really my tweety, please stop crying. as far as i know, you are my girl that always happy all time. you are my babby that always show your cute face without tears"
i start to control my emosi and stop my tears.
me "daddy am i disappointing you? i always try to smile, happy, enjoy my life, be a nice girl, do my best. but, i dont know why the tears can fallen like this, i just afraid a lot with this event, i afraid if i can't do my best."
he said again " what you say babby? i always proud of you all time. you are not maudlin, babby. you just tired at all. take a rest and you will feel better"
me " how can i take a rest when everyday the event was more and more near? i already hurt my bestfriends felling too, dad"
he said " it better good to take a rest in condition like this. if you tired, mybe you will do it without your heart. its something that you must to do it with heart and happines. And, to make your friendship more good just talk heart by heart with them all. it will make condition more good"
he said again " real life is just like this, full with problem and happines. dont afraid with what will happen with your even. just do it with your heart and do it with your best. the event will good or not, its depending with your work. if you afraid, just fight your afraid. I know you strong, and i believe that you and all your friends can do the best for this event"
me (not saying anything just spechless)
he " dont cry again like babby, although sometimes cry can express feeling easier than word. remember that i love you and always hope the best for you"
and he hug me, with father hug. and kiss my neck, full with love. someting that i already missing from seven years.
and when i wake up, i open my eyes with cry. OMG, although it just short dream, i get much from it. i cry with sleep. and cry again when wake up. and when i start post it, its still with tears that can't stop, and now when i want to stop this short "curhatan" the tears was stop, not fallen again like before.
for me, sometimes cry is so important to throw away bad feeling and all of weight feeling. cry is make me more rileks. hehehehehe
thanks daddy for comming to my dream, and tell me much important things. i smile when remember your hug and kiss. i really miss you (╯︵╰,)
with love love,
ghea safferina adany